The institution of marriage is under attack. The cause? Snoring.
No … really.
According to new research, three in 10 U.K. couples have come close to splitting up because snoring is coming between them. Additionally, more than half of U.K. couples are losing between one and five hours sleep a night due to the snoring and snuffling of their partners. That's up to a decade of lost sleep over a lifetime.
Thank God for those relationship gurus over at Crowne Plaza. The IHG chain is introducing “snore absorption” rooms to help the sleep-deprived tune out their nasally impaired partners. The technology includes sound proofing walls to absorb loud frequencies; sound-absorbing head boards; anti-snoring pillows; anti-snoring bed wedges; and a white noise machine.
The rooms were trialed at the Crowne Plaza London The City from 27 June to 1 July. There are now 10 hotels in the Middle East and Europe, including in Spain, Portugal, Britain and France that feature the technology, according to ABC News.
On patrol
But it gets better.
Six Crowne Plazas are also trialing “snore patrols”—humanoid sentries (aka hotel employees) that roam designated quiet zones in an attempt to quell noisemakers. If your snoring is audible from the hallway, you get a knock on the door and a stern talking to. Repeat the offense and you might get booted from the quiet zone once and for all.
Personally, I’m all for it. I can count a number of times when I’ve been kept up by the train-like snoring of a neighboring guest. It’s not a pleasant experience.
But by the same token, I also foresee a more audible disturbance than snoring: the angry yelling and screaming of guests who have been woken up at 4 a.m. by the very snore patrol who have set out to keep the peace.
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